Alcohol, alternative to feeling like yourself. Oh alcohol, I still drink to your health.
-- Bare Naked Ladies, Alcohol

After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was; I just have fewer dents in my car.
-- Robin Williams

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed, and love of power.
-- P.J. O'Rourke