Most people think life sucks and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog, you get remarried, you owe ten million dollars in medical bills, but you work hard for 35 years and you pay it back and then - one day - you have a massive stroke, your whole right side is paralyzed, and you have to limp along the streets and talk out of the left side of your mouth and drool but you go to rehab and regain the power to walk and the power to talk and then - one day - you step off a curb at 67th St and - BANG - you get hit by a city bus and die. Maybe.

-- Denis Leary, No Cure for Cancer

Gotta love Lou Gherig. Jesus Christ, poor Lou Gherig. Died of Lou Gherig's disease. How the Hell do you not see that coming? You know, we used to tell him, "Lou, there's a disease with your name all ove rit, pal."
-- Denis Leary