I don't use drugs. My dreams are frightening enough.
-- M.C. Escher

Man is sometimes extraordinarily, passionately, in love with suffering.
-- Feodor M. Dostoyevsky

Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Washington, D.C. Mayor Marion Barry

I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
-- Anonymous

The world is run by 'C' students.
-- Anonymous

If we weren't all crazy, we would go insane.
-- Jimmy Buffet, Changes in Lattitude, Change in Attitude

Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything.
-- Bob Dylan

We trained hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams, we would be reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing; and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization.
-- Petronius Arbiter

I'm not a number, Damnit, I'm a man.
-- Bob Seger, Feel Like a Number

A pessimist is a person who has listened to too many optimists.
-- don Marquis

People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul.
-- Carl Jung

"Look," said Arthur, "would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?"
-- Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny..."
-- Issac Asimov

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
-- anonymous

Imagine a donut, fired from a cannon at the sound of light while rotating. Time is like that, except without the cannon and the donut.
-- Dilbert

Mr. Right's coming, but he's in Africa, and he's walking.
-- Oprah

How is it that so often... I get the feeling that I've worked hard to learn something I already know, or knew, once.
-- Linda Ellerbee

Time grows dim. Time that was so long grows short, all goggle-eyed, wiggling her skirts, singing her torch song, giving the boys a buzz and a ride, that Nazi Mama with her beer & sourkraut. Time, old gal of mine, will soon dim out.
-- anonymous