Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me. I quit."
-- Bill Maher

You cannot hate other people without hating yourself.
-- Oprah

Take away the right to say -fuck-, and you take away the right to say -fuck the government-.
-- Lenny Bruce

Only the supressed word is dangerous.
-- Ludwig Berne

If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
-- Kingsley Amis

Poor is the man whose pleasure depend on the permission of another.
-- Madonna

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.
-- Voltaire

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt

A "no" uttered from the deepest conviction is better and greater than a "yes" merely uttered to to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.
-- Mahatma Gandhi

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard

Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right.
-- Isaac Asimov

Fear is the main source of superstition and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.
-- Bertrand Russell

People who bite the hand that feeds them usually lick the boot that kicks them.
-- Eric Hoffer

The opposite of bravery is not cowardice but conformity.
-- Robert Anthony

The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them; that's the essence of inhumanity.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Hope in reality is the worst ofall evils, because it prolongs the torments of man.
-- Friedrich Nietsche

One of my shortcomings is that I can't predict the future.
-- Lars Ulrich

Nothing spoils fun like finding out it builds character.
-- Calvin and Hobbes

Running away will never make you free.
-- Kenny Loggins, I'm Free

Gonzo: I had that dream again.
Rizzo: You mean the one with the dwarf, the goat and the peanut butter?
Gonzo: Uh, no.
-- Muppets from Space

Better to die once and for all, than to live in continual terror.
-- Aesop

It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived.
-- General George S. Patton, Jr.

In addition to my other numerous acquaintances, I have one more intimate confidant... My depression is the most faithful mistress I have known - no wonder, then, that I return the love.
-- Soren Kierkegaard

The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.
-- Harriet Beecher Stowe

Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw though the leather straps.
-- Emo Phillips

When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord, in His wisdom, didn't work that way. So I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
-- Emo Phillips

Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives.
-- A. Sachs

There is a dignity in dying that doctors should not dare to deny.
-- Anonymous

Hope is a bad thing. It means that you are not what you want to be. It means that part of you is dead, if not all of you. It means that you entertain illusions. It's a sort of spiritual clap, I should say.
-- Henry Miller

Things were getting to me. Just how people are. How they always expect you to be a certain way. Even your best friend.

-- Angela, My So-Called Life

The worst feeling is suddenly realizing that you don't measure up. And that, in the past, when you thought you did, you were a fool.

-- Angela, My So-Called Life

When I was little, I worshipped Halloween. And truthfully, part of me still does. 'Cause it's your one chance to be someone else.

-- Angela, My So-Called Life

It's not the bullet with my name on it that worries me. It's the one that says, "To whom it may concern."

-- Anonymous Belfast resident

Sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones, not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. They come to the door of memory.

-- Susan B. Anthony

I was me, but now he's gone.
-- Metallica, Fade to Black

My mother always said she was the kind of person who was her daughter's best friend. So, I thought Great! Not only do I have a shitty mother, but my best friend is a loser bitch.
-- Dedee, The Opposite of Sex

The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life. Wit destroys eroticism, and eroticism destroys wit, so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners.
-- Florence King

You start out depressed, everything turns out a pleasant surprise.
-- Lloyd, Say Anything

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempts to prove otherwise constitutes inacceptable behavoir.
-- Fran Lebowitz

Destroy yourselves, you who are desperate and you who are tortured body and soul, abandon all hope. There is no more solace for you in this world. The world lives off your rotting flesh.
-- Antonio Artaud

Communism doesn't work because people like to own things.
-- Frank Zappa

Pain hardens, and great pain hardens greatly, whatever the comforters say, and the suffering does not ennoble, though it may occasionally lend a certain rigid dignity of manner to the suffering frame.
-- A.S. Byatt

She was no longer wrestling with her grief, but could sit down with it as a lasing companion and make it a sharer in her thoughts.
-- George Eliot

It is better to die on your feet, than to live on your knees.
-- Emelio Zapata

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
-- Fran Lebowitz

I wept not, so to stone within I grew.
-- Dante Alighieri

In a real dark night of the soul it is always three o'clock in the morning, day after day.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald

I don't like nostalgia unless it's mine.
-- Lou Reed

I think being a woman is like being Irish... Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same.
-- Iris Murdoch

You aren't ill; it is just that you are made of second-rate material."
-- Natalia Ginzburg, Family Sayings

I'm always amazed that people take what I say seriously. I don't even take what I am seriously.
-- David Bowie

Every artist was first an amateur.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If Kuwait grew carrots, we wouldn't give a damn.
-- Lawrence Korb

I'm a pessimist because of intelligence, but an optimist because of will.
-- Antonio Gramsci

Drunkeness is nothing but a voluntary madness.
-- Louis Seneca

But truly, I have wept too much! The dawns are heartbreaking Every moon is atrocious and every sun bitter.
-- Arthur Rimbaud

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.
-- Gloria Steinem

The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.
-- Gloria Steinem

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
-- Aristotle

If there is something to pardon in everything, there is also something to condemn.
-- Nietzsche

But what we call our despair is often only the painful eagerness of unfed hope.
-- George Eliot

Abandon all hope, you who entere here.
-- Dante Alighieri

We adults have learned how to disguise our terrible character, but children, well, they are like grotesque drawings of us. They should be neither seen nor heard, and no one must make one.
-- Gore Vidal

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyound measure.
-- Nelson Mandela

Fool! Don't you see now that I could have poisoned you a hundred times had I been able to live without you!
-- Cleopatra

The difference between our decadence and the Russians' is that while theirs is brutal, ours is apathetic.
-- James Thurber, 1961

There can't be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
-- Henry Kissinger

Hope is the only universal liar who never loses his reputation for veracity.
-- Robert Ingersoll

Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser.
-- Paul Newman

Renee: Snow White, Cinderella, all about gettin' a guy. Being saved by a guy. Today, it's Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Pocahantas. All about getting a guy.
Ally: So basically, we're screwed up because of...
Renee: Disney.
--Ally McBeal

Problem is just a bleak word for challenge.
-- Richard Fish, Ally McBeal

Remember, when you're with me, it's the only time you're not the strangest person in the room. So go ahead, get weird with me.
-- Ally, Ally McBeal

When guys are persistant, it's romantic, they make movies about that. If it's a woman, then they cast Glenn Close.

-- Ally, Ally McBeal

Everybody's alone. It's just easier to take in a relationship.
-- Richard Fish, Ally McBeal

He's so cheesy, I can't watch him without crackers.
-- Reality Bites

Water for oxen, wine for kings.
-- Spanish proverb

The authority of any governing institution must stop at its citizens' skin.
--Gloria Steinem

There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside of you.
-- Maya Angelou

The dreams of youth are the regrets of maturity.
-- Legend

Stupid inflatable pants.
-- Patrick Starfish

Cameron: What'd I do?
Ferris: You killed the car.
-- Ferris Buehler's Day Off

Phillipe: Are you flesh, or are you spirit?
Isabeau: I am sorrow.
-- Ladyhawke

Moldy mildew, mother of mouthmuck, dangle and strangle and death.

-- Aughra, The Dark Crystal

Anti-wrinkle cream there may be, but anti-fat bastard cream there is not.
-- Dave, The Full Monty

No poems can please for long or live that are written by water-drinkers.
-- Horace

The most important thing, darling, is to live a fabulous life. As long as it is fabulous, I don't care how long it is.
--Freddie Mercury

When I get a little money, I buy glass; and if any is left I buy food and clothes.
-- me

When I get a little money, I buy books; and if any is left I buy food and clothes.
-- Desiderius Erasmus

Do not base your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away.
-- unkown

A liberal is a conservative who has been arrested.
-- Tom Wolfe

A narcissist is someone who is better looking than you are.
-- Gore Vidal

The hottest places in Hell are reserved for those who, in times of moral crisis, preserved their neutrality.
-- Dante Alihieri

Consider your origins: you were not made to live as brutes, but to follow virtue and knowledge.
-- Dante Alighieri

Now we can do this the hard way or... well, actually, there's just the hard way.
-- Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Noooo, I think you're up in a clocktower with a high-powered rifle because you want to blend in.
-- Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Oh, poor Watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes? "Cup of tea, cup of tea, almost got shagged, cup of tea"?
-- Spike, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Planning life as a loser? Most people just turn out that way, but you're really taking charge.
-- Cordelia, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I am kind of a paranoic in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.
-- J. D. Salinger

The safest road to Hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.
-- C. S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

I don't know about you, but I had a nice day. You know, except for the bulk of it where I was nearly tortured to death.
-- Angel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
-- Jackie Mason

It's the things I might have said that fester.
-- Clemence Dane

The pain now is part of the happiness then.
-- C. S. Lewis

"Ha ha", said Eeyore bitterly. "Merriment and what-not. Don't apologize. It's just what would happen."
A. A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh

Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. The moment you know how, you begin to die a little. The artist never entirely knows. We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark.
-- Agnes de Mille

I cannot stress enough how much I don't have plans.
-- Xander, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Don't call me irrational. It makes me crazy when you do that.
-- Niles Crane, Frasier

Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I'm living so far beyound my income, that we may almost be said to be living apart.
-- e e cummings

When three women join together, the stars come out in broad daylight.
-- Talugu proverb

As a woman, my country is the whole world.
-- Virginia Woolf

There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them.
-- Sylvia Plath

In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer.
-- Albert Einstein

If I want to show off my muscles, I will shave my head.
-- Leanne Fada

I am at my meanest when I feel the greatest tenderness.
-- Jane Bowles

I don't have the time every day to put on makeup. I need that time to clean my rifle.
-- Henriette Mentell

No trumpets sound when the important decisions are made. Destiny is made known silently.
-- Agnes de Mille

I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library.
-- Jorge luis Borges

When I'm near the end of a good book, I need to sleep in the same room with it.
-- Joan Didion

Read in order to live.
-- Gustave Flaubert

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
-- P. J. O'Rourke

Lacking the courage of one's nastiness does not make one nice.
-- Michael Kinsley

Never mistake wisdom for knowledge. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life.
-- Sandra Carey

I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of stars make me dream.
-- Vincent Van Gogh

The moment a book is lent, I begin to miss it.
-- Anatole Broyard

When we are collecting books, we are collecting happiness.
-- Vincent Starrett

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening, that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost.
-- Martha Graham

To survive is not enough... to simply exist is not enough.
-- Star Trek, the Next Generation

Do something today which the world may speak of hereafter.
-- Admiral Collingwood

The important thing is to not stop questioning.
-- Albert Einstein

If there is something to pardon in everyone, there is also something to condemn.
-- Friedrich Nietzche

The only thing that can console one for being poor is extravagance.
-- Oscar Wilde

Half my life is an act of revision.
-- John Irving

Do one thing every day that scares you.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt

Whenver I have to choose between two evils, I like to try the one I haven't tried before.
-- Mae West

Trust your demon.
-- Roger Zelazny

The little things are infinitely the most important.
-- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by a whiff of science or a does of common sense.
-- Chapman Cohen

Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.
-- Jonathan Larson

We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
-- Joseph Campbell

All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling.
-- Oscar Wilde

The longer I live, the greater is my respect for manure in all its forms.
-- Elizabeth van Armin

Success and failure are equally disastrous.
-- Tennessee Williams

On the whole, human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.
-- George Orwell

Life is half spent before we know what it is.
-- George Herbert

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.
-- Oscar Wilde

It's not the size of your feet that matters, it's the size of your feet.
-- Tobin

It takes a lot less time, and most people won't notice the difference until it's too late.
-- Mediocrity, www.despair.com

Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.
-- Procrastination, http://www.despair.com/

Question everything.
-- Georg Christopher Lichtenberg

What fresh hell is this?
-- Dorothy Parker

It is good to have friends, even in Hell.
-- Spanish Proverb

I wish to have one copy of every book in the world.
-- Sir Thomas Phillips

A library is not a luxury, but one of the necessities of life.
-- Henry Ward Beecher

Everything in the world exists to end up in a book.
-- Stephanie Mallame

A witty syaing proves nothing.
-- Voltaire

I am not afraid of the pen, or the scaffold, or the sword. I will tell the truth whenever I please.
-- Mother Jones

You come to doing what you do by not being able to do something.
-- Grace Paley

Excess on occasion is exhilarating.
-- W. Somerset Maugham

A home without books is like a room without windows.
-- Henry Ward Beecher

People say life is the thing, but I prefer reading.
-- Logan Pearsell Smith

The wine urges me on, the bewitching wine, which sets even a wise man to singing and to laughing gently and rouses him up to dance and bring forth words which were better unspoken.
-- The Odyssey, Homer

I have a right to my anger, and I don't want anybody telling me I shouldn't be, that it's not nice to be, and that something's wrong with me because I get angry.
-- Maxine Waters

I cannot live without books.
-- Thomas Jefferson

Shut up and drink more beer.
-- Doug & friends

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
-- Ernest Hemingway

Properly, we should read for power. Man reading should be man intensely alive. The book ahould be a ball of light in one's hand.
-- Ezra Pound

Lack of money is no obstacle. Lack of an idea is an obstacle.
-- Ken Hakuta

This is the part that's less fun. When there isn't any screaming.
-- Evil Willow, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Can't you see that I bring the gift of oblivion? I promise it won't hurt... much.
-- Callisto, Xena, Warrior Princess

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.
-- Douglas Adams

My personal hobbies are reading, listening to music, and silence.
-- Edith Sitwell

Yesterday's future is today.
-- A.R.G, South Park

All dressed up and no one to kill.
-- Ares, Xena, Warrior Princess

How I hate happy endings.
-- Ares, Xena, Warrior Princess

Ordinarily, he was insane, but he had lucid moments when he was merely stupid.
-- Heinrich Heine

You can't always get what you want, but sometimes, you get what you need.
-- You Can't Always Get What You Want, The Rolling Stones

My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular.
-- Adlai Stevenson

I've never known any trouble that an hour's reading didn't assuage.
-- Charles de Secondant

The saying "Getting there is half the fun" became obsolete with the advent of commercial airlines.
-- Henry J. Tillman

'Cause your friends don't dance
and if they don't dance
well they're no friends of mine.

-- Safety Dance, Men without Hats

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
-- Henny Youngman

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
-- Isaac Asimov

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
-- Idiocy, www.despair.com

Never eat more than you can lift.
-- Miss Piggy

I always have a quotation for everything. It saves original thought.
-- Dorothy L. Sayers

My favorite animal is steak.
-- Fran Lebowitz

Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting.
-- Alan Dean Foster

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
--Euripides

Fire bad, tree pretty.
-- Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer