If I had no sense of humor, I would have long ago committed suicide.
-- Mahatma Gandhi

Find you a bridge and take a jump. Just make certain you do it right the first time, 'cause nothing's worse than a suicide chump.
-- Frank Zappa, Suicide Chump

I can't kill my feelings, so I got to kill me. That's the only way I can be free.
-- Plasmatics, Summer Night

It is not worth the bother of killing yourself, since you always kill yourself too late.
-- E.M. Cioran

Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me. I quit."
-- Bill Maher